What is Play Therapy? A Brief Intro for Parents
As a parent, I've had plenty of moments where a doctor, teacher, or coach made a recommendation and I thought… can you run that by me again?
If you’re here, maybe your 6 year-old’s doctor recommended that you take her to therapy. Her teacher has noticed that she is struggling with completing assignments in class, and at home you have noticed that she gets immensely frustrated doing a task if she is not able to do it right the first time, crying and throwing a tantrum at a level that is unexpected for someone her age. Maybe therapy would be helpful, you agree.
But hold on - the stereotypical image of a patient laying on a chaise lounge as a psychologist scribbles furiously on a notepad flashes in your mind. Your six year-old couldn’t possibly lay there for one hour, and even if she could, you can’t imagine what she would talk about that could be helpful.
The pediatrician gives you a list of child therapists in the area, you check their websites, and keep seeing “play therapy.” Like many parents, you think, “What on earth is play therapy? Am I paying for my kid to play?”
In short terms, play therapy uses play to allow the child client to work through problems that they may not have words to express or understand. For young children, play is the language they can use to communicate, whether they intend to or not.
So, using the example of this 6 year-old child - I would bring your child into the playroom, and maybe notice that she is overly mature for her age, and seems eager to please me as an “authority figure.” She is happy to engage in activities I direct and provide instruction for, following whatever rules are established - but once I encourage her to play independently, she freezes and declines, asking for another game of my choosing.
At our next parent session, I explain that I’m seeing themes of perfectionism with your daughter. I’ll explain, “Your daughter may not be able to say that she’s afraid of making mistakes, but she can demonstrate it by refusing to take risks in her play - even something as simple as refusing to draw a picture without explicit instructions on what to draw, and how to draw it.”
And it clicks - your child’s perfectionism, her fear of failure, is the root of all of the issues you and other adults in her life had been observing, although even she (or maybe especially she) could not put her finger on the exact problem.
Play therapy can help with a variety of concerns:
Big life changes (divorce, a loss in the family, a new sibling)
Anxiety (separation anxiety, school refusal, selective mutism)
Trauma (accidents, abuse, witnessing violence)
Social/emotional skills (friendship challenges, emotional regulation, low self-esteem)
And many other concerns that may be difficult to identify or articulate.
A therapist’s goal is to work with both your child and your family to identify the presenting issue, and work together to address it. I don’t want to sideline you, make you feel guilty, or judge your parenting. My goal is to help your child, and your family, build the skills your child needs to resolve her problem.
You don’t have to know if play therapy is right for your child - that’s a question we can answer together. If you’re in Harford County, or the surrounding areas, and this post sounded familiar, I’d love to have a conversation. If you are considering if play therapy might be a good fit for your child, send me an email or schedule a phone consultation. I am more than happy to be the person to tell you that your child doesn’t need therapy, if that’s the case - and of course, I am happy to work with your and your child if therapy does seem like it’s worth a try.
The free, 15-minute phone consultation is just me asking what’s been going on, and you asking whatever you want. No forms, no commitment or obligation. I work with children ages 5 and up (teenagers too!), and I would love to hear about yours.
If you would like to read more about play therapy, I recommend perusing the Association for Play Therapy’s website.